What do we do if we're newly saved and living together?


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“…..This is the first in a series of articles answering common questions Christians and especially young Christians, encounter in their walk with God.  Some will be answers to hypothetical but common situations and others will be from individuals who have posted questions on our website but either way, I hope the answers we provide will help you in your Christian life.  If you do want to post a question to us, please leave a comment on the ‘Questions Answered’ page however, no names will ever be posted relating to these articles….”

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A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I gave our hearts to the Lord Jesus Christ, the problem is we have lived together now for six years and we have two young children together so we’re not too sure what to do.  We want to live our lives for Jesus but I’m afraid that we’re just living in sin.  What should we do?
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Firstly, congratulations on having given your hearts to the Lord Jesus Christ, you and your family are about to embark on a great journey together. The very fact that your circumstances concern you tells me that you have really made a decision for Jesus, so I do hope the below testimony and explanation will put your mind at rest.
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Sharon and I were in a very similar situation to you when we were saved in 2001, although we were living apart after having lived together for four years.  At that point, we’d rented our house out and Sharon was living in a flat with Jamie and I was back at home with my parents, so we had some decisions to make.  We’d already been a family for some time now and having found God, we knew we both wanted to live our lives right before him and for the sake of Jamie. So we decided, with the support of our church, to continue our living arrangement until we came to the place where we could marry.  Looking back, those months before our marriage were a great season for us as a couple and instead of fighting and arguing, we were praying and talking about the things Jesus was doing in our lives and slowly, our relationship transformed. God had not only begun to build us as a couple but he forged our own personal relationships and before long, we married before our family, friends and our new found fellowship and became a family again.
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One of the reasons I shared the above was not only to encourage you with our similar experiences, but to illustrate to you just how God meets people, couples and families right where they are, which is entirely true with your situation.  You’re not in the situation of being single individual or just a couple living together, if that were the case, the answers would be simple but like us at the time, you guys have children to consider and this, is the key to the answers I’m about to share. You see God’s priority is always the children of the family unit, in whatever situation you’re in so in light of that, he most certainly wouldn’t want you to separate even for a season so please don’t consider that option.  Again, God takes you as he finds you and everyone is different with different priorities but one thing is for sure, he’d never be the cause of hurt to your children.
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That’s what he wouldn’t do but what he will do, is build you both as individuals Christians, as a couple and as a family to bring you to a place where you can marry, completing his work for you in this season in your life and it will be a great season.  Like us, God will transform your family through the situations you’ll encounter over the next few months, removing faulty areas of your life and replacing them with new and if you do follow his path, you too begin to see many changes and when the Lord appoints that time, you could marry and become a family beyond anything you thought it would be.
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So, are you living in sin? The answer’s yes, there’s no doubt, it’s God’s design is for couples is to be married despite what the world and some Christians might think, but the living in sin is the circumstances you’ve been found in so don’t worry about it. My advice, from God’s Word and from experience, just enjoy this coming season in your life, you’ve just embarked on an amazing journey together filled with God and the things of God so don’t bog yourself down with condemnation. If you haven’t already, attach yourself to a good assembly of God’s people to advise you and encourage you forward through this next season in your life and let God do the rest. Remember, God catches his fish and then he cleans them!
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I hope this brief explanation has been of benefit, please pray and talk to a Pastor about this upcoming season on your life. I’m only sorry of my own limitations in talking to you via an article however, I’ve no doubt that God and the Christians around you will do the rest.  God bless. Steven.
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About Pastor Steven

Steven Birnie is a former local Church Minister and the author of Christian publications which include non-fiction, fictional and teaching eBooks with audio sermons. From the north-east coast of Scotland, Pastor Steven is married to Sharon and together, they have two young children called Emily and David. After seven years of training, three years of overseeing youth and young adults and, three years of being the Assistant Pastor in his local Church, Pastor Steven moved on to focus on writing Christian Publications. In the future, he hopes to open a Christian Children’s Home in his home town and write The Tribulation Soldier, his newest Series of Fictional, Military EBooks on the End Times, the Rapture and the Tribulation Period, as a 2.5 Million Word Series. But despite continuing pastoral work and writing, Steven remains devoted to his children, enjoying his family life with caravan holidays in the Highlands, fishing, canoeing and his favourite pastime, riding his motorbike through the Scottish countryside.